How to live more effective

Definition of succes

The challenge in life is not reaching other people’s definition of success. It’s reaching your own unique potential. Most of sadly follow a desire for fame, achieving status or results for an exam. Achieving your own definition of success is a much more fulfilling path. Fortunately it may not reach other’s definition of success. It makes you develop yourself and help you make the most of your talents.

Assesing your strengths and weaknesses

An important step in developing yourself and helping you to reach your potential is finding out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Now somehow most of the times people do not know these two fundamental things about themselves. They may be able to take a shot at their strengths but remain unable to think of their weaknesses. A huge misconception people tend to fall for is thinking they have to be as good as all their peers at everything they are doing. So to find out what you’re strengths and weaknesses are and most of these will be blindspots for you. You are going to need to ask people that are around you, that see you, and you need to be open to feedback.Receiving feedback is something you should to systematically. To achieve this you have to be open to advice and feedback and open to hearing things you don’t want to hear. Moreover this feedback has to be skill-based. You cannot go round asking “What am I bad at?”, you should reflect on a certain exercise or task you have completed or are working on. Self-reflection should become part of every task.

“It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.” 

The art of war - Sun Tzu

Building strong relationships

In order to reach your potential you’re going to need some help. You need coaching you need and feedback. You need to be able to talk about your fears your insecurities your doubts or sometimes just for a reality check. Unfortunatly in this hyperconnected world people no longer have that many relationships. 

Relationship means: mutual trust, mutual respect, mutual understanding.So for each of these three parts you can do an exercise to help you form or reinforce this relationship. The first is self-disclosure: In order to have a relationship with someone you have tell them something about yourself, nothing superficial, but something fundamental. This fundamental aspect will make them understand you better. Some people are so buttoned up that they don't ever do that. The second step is inquiry: Asking someone a question that makes you understand them better. Keep in mind to ask about something fundamental. The last step is seeking advice:: Frame a situation in which you need advice or an area of self-doubt and ask advice. Just think how great you feel when somebody tries to seek your advice. I feel flattered, they are showing me a lot of respect.